Fuck Shaw Cable

Fuck them in their time wasting cockholes. Seriously. How fucking hard is it to replace a fucking PVR?? It's not like I'm asking them to recover the blackbox's data from the space shuttle columbia or anything....

This all started months ago. YEARS ago... We went out and bought a shiny new PVR from Shaw. Yay!! Just like TiVo, but in Canada!!! Except... within the first couple of months, ours fucked up. It would record things, but it would freeze part way into the playback and never let you watch past that point.

Fuck.

Just our luck that these ass-rammers would have slipped us a defective one. I call tech support, and they tell me to unplug and reconnect everything, power included and see if that helps. I do and it does. For a week. Then it slowly starts rolling back down the shit hill... So I call Shaw and politely ask them to fix this shit, and they send out a guy. Of course the only time that they're availiable to come out, is convieniently when no one who has a standard job should ever be home.

I book them in for Tuesday morning between 8 and 12. At 12:05, this big fucking douche-clot strolls through my front door and says, "Hey man, sorry I'm a dicktard with absolutely no respect for you. I know I shoulda been here earlier but I stopped by a gloryhole on my way over here and took a couple shots in the mouth." At least, thats what I remember him saying....

Regardless, this spunk junkie unplugs and plugs everything back into the PVR and resets it. It works. I politely explain to him that I've been through this, it works, but only for a week. Thinking back, the weird thing was that he brought a PVR with him because he thought he was supposed to be hooking it up... little did I know that it would have been smarter for me to just greyhound him and keep the PVR he brought than proceed as I did. He basically said something along the lines of "tough luck shitstains, I'm goin to the pumpjack for... lunch."

So a week later I call Shaw again, and basically start the process over again. Eventually I talk to a tech person who's heard of this problem before and she says that I need to have the PVR plugged directly into the wall, that for some fucked up reason powerbars tend to fuck with the sensitive inner gibberish of an overly expensive computer.... I try it and it works. For months it works. It works for so long that I never even got around to writing this entry...

Then, in the last month or so... it started fucking up again. This time I'm pissed. I've had at least five shit-cobblers come to my house, stink it up, and i'm still having this problem?? Fuck that shit. Bring me a new fucking box.

They agree.

Hooray!!!

Again I have to stay home in the morning to wait for this dick-repository to show up, but when he does, he's got a PVR in his hands. I almost shat in my pants when I saw it but I managed to keep it in and guide him to our TV. Fuckwad looks at the back of my PVR, opens the one he's brought with him and looks at the back of it... "Um, so it's like this, your using an HDMI cable... and this PVR only has a DVI port on it... oh, and I need to get back to the gloryhole... I'll come back tomorrow."

WHAT THE FUCK???????

Firstly, Shaw knows what fucking PVR I have because I've had a steady stream of their ball garglers running gangbanging it for a year...

Secondly, why the fuck would Motorola only put one input on a fucking PVR????? For that, Fuck you Motorola... I mean, I could nerd out and ramble about how HDMI is clearly better than DVI, but when I'm spending nearly a thousand dollars on a fucking glorified VCR, Fuck them for only putting one or the other on it. My TV has every kind of port on it that was ever made. Ones I've never even seen before and I'm a fucking AV nerd.

Fuck Motorola for only putting one or the other on the fucking box.

Fuck Shaw for bringing the wrong fucking one.

Fuck.

-b